Too Late To Resist
by BSwan.N
Summary: What if Edward couldn't resist Bella in Twilight and lured her away from prying eyes to give in to his desire for her blood? What would happen?
1. Chapter 1

**This is my new story. I was watching the special features of twilight and watched Catherine hardwikes vampire kiss montage and the very last one was what if Edward nearly killed Bella in the biology classroom? SO I started writing this story. Hope you like it!!!**

**By the way the beginning of this is set after Bella's seen the Cullen's in the cafeteria. By the way for later reference if you don't remember it's a Monday in the story.**

Chapter 1

EPOV

I was utterly baffled as to why I couldn't hear Isabella Swan's mind. It might be just that she wasn't thinking anything - which was hard to believe considering she had been just told about the freaks of the school - or maybe I had to be closer to her to hear her.

I walked swiftly to my biology class, wishing I had hunted sooner rather than later, as several passers-by stunned me a little with their scent.

Alice hadn't _seen_ anything so I knew all was well, no matter how much pain we were in, especially Jasper. I nodded in recognition to Mr Banner's greeting as I walked into class and took my seat. I placed my notebook and my pen in front of me and stared at the grey cracks in the corner of the room.

Students started filing into the room, chatting about up coming events and the new girl who seemed to be on nearly everybody's mind.

Just as I was about to block everybody out like I usually do during lessons, one person's thoughts seemed to catch my attention.

Angela Weber walked in with a very worried looking Isabella or Bella as she liked to be called.

"_I hope she's ok. I don't have a clue how she must be feeling. I'd hate to be the new girl." _Angela smiled slightly at Bella at this thought and walked over to her seat.

Maybe I would be able to decipher her thoughts now that she'd be sitting next to me as that was the only spare chair in the room.

She walked quickly passed me to get to the front when her scent hit me.

It was mouth-wateringly delicious, it made my mouth fill with venom. I wanted to taste her sweet blood trickling down my throat.

I shook my head and turned to stone at the thought . No! I wouldn't destroy everything Carlisle had built for us because of one human girl. I wouldn't. I stared at her, my fist clenched , my chair angled away from where she would soon be sitting.

She looked quickly at me and was met with my hostile glare. As she turned away she stumbled over a book in the walkway and went flying into the edge of a table. She caught herself but her hair swung around and I was hit with her scent again.

I clenched my fist tighter and became utterly still, trying not to breath. Her scent was so strong that time that my burst into flames, I tried to fight it but my mind was clouded with her luscious aroma.

She walked back up towards her seat and towards me, her eyes full of fear. I knew that if I wanted to I could make her stay behind and take her.

NO! No, I can't do that. She's innocent, she's done nothing wrong. But she had done everything wrong. She was so tempting , so delectable that she threatened everything I had. She was like my own personal demon, sent to destroy me.

She put her hair over her right shoulder, stunning me again. I couldn't resist her. Her blood was so appealing that my mouth was swimming with venom that longed to claim of her.

She looked at me every now and then and diverted her gaze immediately as she met my furious eyes. I stayed like that the rest of the lesson deciding on what to do. But before I could fight off the thought that threatened to destroy me I was whispering in her ear,

"Stay back after class."

She flinched slightly and nodded with out questioning me, her eyes slightly fearful. It was then that I realised that I couldn't hear her thoughts even now, when I was right next to her.

The bell rang for the end of class and I watched as the class became emptier and emptier.

_"What's up with Cullen? He looks like he wants to kill her or something?" _Mike Newton walked up to Bella and introduced himself. This was my only chance to save everything, but her scent held me there. I couldn't move.

"Are you going to gym?" He asked her.

She nodded weakly, "I'll catch up with you. I have to ask Mr Banner for something."

Mike didn't look convinced, _"That was weird." _But he smiled at her and then left the room. Mr Banner collected his things and left the room. As soon as I couldn't see him I got up.

Bella put her book away and went to leave for gym.

"Where are you going?" I asked her without thinking. Why couldn't I just let her go?

She bit her bottom lip and walked back over to me, messing with her wavy mahogany hair, stunning me for the tenth time that hour.

"Come with me." I said. The words I had been dreading to say were just pouring out of me. I was trying so hard to fight it but I was already to far gone.

She nodded weakly and waited until I left the room first to follow me. I didn't have a clue what was running through her head as I lead her out of school and around the school building out of sight from any prying eyes.

I stopped as we reached the ally behind the school. She was clutching her bag tightly and looking around with worried eyes. She flicked her hair back and I was hit by her scent again.

I grabbed her and sunk my teeth into her neck.

She thrashed around in my arms and kicked my legs, but she didn't scream. She was perfectly quiet as I drained her of blood. Feeling her hot luscious blood flowing down my throat.

Her struggles became weaker and weaker and then she finally found her voice. But instead of screaming she simply pleaded with me.

"Edward. Please. Stop."

I tried to make the monster in me see sense to make him see what he was doing. What he was doing to this innocent girl.

"Edward . . . Please. . ." She gasped.

I finally found the strength to stop and I let her go watching her fall limply to the floor.

I stood there repulsed at what I had done. I had killed an totally innocent girl because I wasn't strong enough. I was a monster.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello I know it's been absolutely ages its just I've had an absolutely terrible time at the moment. First my memory stick broke and because my laptop was being taken away for repairs everything of mine was on it so I lost all the chapters I had been writing for all my stories. So now I'm rewriting things and editing the existing chapters on so that everything is up to date and to the best quality. **

**Hope you dont mind me editing the end of this chapter. Its just Bella realised her feelings too quickly :) xx**

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Chapter 2

EPOV

I bent down and stared at her face, twisted with pain and hurt. Her face was as white as or whiter than mine. And then she began breathing.

I gasped in relief and carefully lifted her up into my arms restraining myself, using every ounce of strength I had, which is what I should have done before. I should have tried harder to control myself, but I was already hungry, I should have hunted sooner.

I would never forgive myself for what I had done to this girl, never, not even after three hundred years. Never.

I carried her swiftly towards my car, being careful not to crush her in my arms. I placed her in my car and sped off towards my house where Carlisle was for his supposed lunch break.

I hated myself for what I had done to the girl next to me. If only I had been strong enough to resist then she wouldn't be fighting for her life. I reached the house in no time at all and rushed to get the poor girl inside.

"Carlisle!" I nearly screamed as Bella stopped breathing. I carried her into the living room just as Carlisle along with Esme came down in a flash and stared horror stricken at the bleeding girl.

"I'm so sorry. I couldn't help it. She smelled just like the way those girls did to Emmett, I couldn't resist her. I'm so sorry." I sobbed tearlessly as Carlisle took her out of my arms and rushed upstairs.

"I'll do all I can." He told me as he placed her in his room.

Esme put her arm around me and began worrying about whether we would have to move again soon. She rubbed my shoulder, "Everything will be fine. We'll be fine. No matter what. Don't worry yourself too much. It's not your fault." She soothed even though I didn't deserve any type of sympathy.

"Esme, I'm not worried about whether we'll have to move. I'm worried that she won't make it." I confessed.

Esme put her head on my shoulders and lead me to the couch where I lay down and stared blankly at the white wall, too ashamed to look her in the eye.

I sat on the porch steps and stared out at the dim forest trying to come to terms with what had happened.

She had survived but for the sake of her sanity and our safety she had been told of our 'secret' and sworn to secrecy. Surprisingly she seemed sincere when she promised not to say a word to anybody. But then how would I know, I couldn't read her mind. But there was something else. She didn't seem scared of us. She seemed quite calm around us and content.

"Edward?"

I hadn't heard her approach but now I could smell her. I turned slowly on the step and looked up into her chocolate brown eyes.

I didn't think there would have been any other way around what I had done, she had to be told. I had made a mess of our life. I had to keep my distance though. There wasn't anything I could do about that.

"Go away." I replied a little too harshly than I intended.

She hung her head, "Carlisle said I'm going to have to stay here for a few days. I thought I'd come and tell you myself."

I turned my back on her.

"I'm sorry." She said.

I scoffed, "Why are you sorry? I'm the one who nearly killed you. Right?"

"I came to tell you that I don't hold anything against you and then you act like this," She sounded mad so I turned back to her to see tears falling down her cheeks.

"I don't care if you nearly killed me. You saved me as well. You didn't want me to die, did you? That's why you saved me." She cried.

"I didn't save you. Carlisle did." I said.

"No, because you could've killed me and left me to die. But you didn't." She argued.

I got up and looked her right in the eye, she diverted my gaze.

"Look into my eyes." I told her. She continued to look at the floor, so I walked up to her and gently turned her face to mine with my hand.

"Look at my eyes. Look at the colour. That tells everybody around that I'm dangerous, a killer. Please grasp that and leave me alone." I pleaded pointing to my blood red eyes with my other hand.

"You won't hurt me." She said.

I laughed, "I think the reason you're here is proof enough that that isn't true."

She jerked her face away from my hand and ran inside crying.

What was I doing? Why did I feel compelled to scare this girl away from me when, deep down I didn't want to. I actually wanted her to like me. But it was too dangerous. That's what I had to keep telling myself. It was dangerous to be close to her. Even if it was what she wanted? If it was what I wanted.

BPOV

"Dad, I'm fine. Honestly, the Cullens are really nice and Alice is really just amazing. She's made me feel so welcomed." I told him, sighing slightly when I heard him sigh in relief.

"When are you coming home?" He sounded anxious, as if he was already missing me.

I bit my lip, "Erm . . . That's the thing, I was wondering, no sorry, Alice was wondering if I could stay a few more days? If that's ok with you?" I told him, waiting for his resounding no, but he hesitated.

"Bella. You've been gone three days already. I'm really starting to miss you." He sounded embarrassed as he said this, I could just imagine his cheeks going pick at this very second.

"Oh, please. Alice is really nice and told me I'm the only proper friend she's made here. I can't just leave her. Please? We're having fun," Ok the last part was a lie but the first part wasn't. Alice had always wanted to make new friends but with her family's situation it was impossible for her to. Alice had kind of really taken to me being here as her supposed guest rather too much.

"Alright, fine. But no more than two days, ok?" Charlie was amazing. He was also easy to lie to, sometimes too easy. So why was it I found it so damn hard to lie to Edward?

"Thank you so much!" I exclaimed, "I love you, bye dad,"

"See you soon Bells, love you too," He hung up.

This was a lot harder than I first had thought, lying and pretending everything was fine when it really wasn't. I had only just moved back with Charlie and I was already lying and being completely dishonest to him. But then again if I didn't the whole town would know that the Cullens were vampires and would probably be burned at the stake or staked or shot at with a silver bullet or something traditional. I flinched at the thought of somebody staking Edward. This thought scared me more than it should.

I walked down the stairs to hear beautiful music playing on the piano downstairs. I sat on the stairs near the top, hiding between the bars and listened, swaying my head gently to the music and then very subtly peaked down to see his pale fingers glide over the keys effortlessly, filling the house with his beautiful composition.

I sighed and the music stopped abruptly.

He had heard me. That was great.

Ever since I had woken up, Edward had tried to avoid me at all costs. I gave him the space he needed when it was necessary and appropriate but sometimes he was so damn rude to his family and me that I would follow him into different rooms, making it look inconspicuous so he didn't get suspicious. I actually felt really guilty when he ran out of a room abruptly, knowing it was me that had done it, me that was causing him to be so miserable, so much so that he couldn't take it any longer. He was so miserable around me, I'm going to guess he wasn't like that before I got here, he was probably happy and playful, messing around with his brothers who would probably tease each other all the time. He wasn't like that now. He didn't even look at his brothers now.

Today was different though, because today I now knew that not only was I making him unhappy but that I was causing him real physical pain and that his throat burned with the thirst of my blood every time I was near. Carlisle had only just told me because he didn't think it was his right to tell me and that Edward should instead, but after seeing me sulk around the house for days now Carlisle said it was better if I knew everything, so I could help Edward and so that I understood why he was being so rude to me. And to help him I had to do the thing which would hurt me the most; staying away from him.

I stood up quickly and ran swiftly down the stairs, hoping to avoid his gaze but what I wasn't expecting was to end up bounding right into him. He steadied me and smiled slightly. That was the first time I'd seen him smile.

"What are you doing?" He asked me pleasantly, not at all as harsh as I would of thought he would have.

"I-I er . . . was going to erm . . . talk to, erm Esme, when I heard you playing and . . . I'm so s-sorry." I stuttered at him.

He smiled again, "Are you scared of me?

I looked down and tried to get past him. I wasn't going to answer that, not if my answer angered him - I liked the happy Edward, "I need to -"

"You are, aren't you?" He said, he sounded quite happy by my reaction.

I didn't reply.

How was I supposed to tell him that I wasn't scared of him, I was scared that he might leave and I might never see him again. What was wrong with me? I deserved to be shot at for just thinking of that, preferably by Edward, so that I could see his beautiful face as I died. Urgh! I was so stupid!

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	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3BPOV

I stayed quiet; I wasn't going to admit I was scared of him on some level, a level which involved me having feelings for him.

"I suppose I deserve it," Edward said, hanging his head sadly, "Who wouldn't be scared of the monster who tried to kill them.

"You're not a monster." I said shocked by his choice of words.

He looked up and smiled, "Thank you. But you're wrong."

He turned around and headed back to the piano. Even after I knew the truth I still refused to believe he wasn't dangerous. There was something about him that comforted me. I followed him over to the piano and stood next to him with my arms crossed,

"No, I'm not." I said stubbornly.

He turned on the stool to face me, a smirk on the edge of his lips, "Well? Humour me. How am I not a monster?"

I thought for a second. This was going to be harder than I first thought, I hardly knew him and yet I stood there trying to tell him how he wasn't a monster, a guy I hardly knew. Alice would have helped me if she was here. Damn.

He laughed, "You can't think of anything, can you?"

I narrowed my eyes and clenched my fists, "I hardly know you, but there's something about you that tells me you're not dangerous. You're not a bad person, you're just a good person put in a bad situation, you didn't have a choice."

He shook his head, sadly now and turned away from me, staring at the black and white keys in front of him.

"I don't want to hurt you but I can't be sure that I won't. It's so frustrating," He sighed,

"Before I met you everything was so clear, I knew what I was, what I was capable of, but now . . ."

"What?" I asked, my voice nearing a whisper.

"I'm not sure of anything." He finished, "Don't get me wrong, sometimes it helps to be unsure about things, but now it scares me because I'm not sure if I'm capable of hurting you. And I don't want to."

He hung his head and hit a random key, causing me to jump.

"You should go and see Esme, she's waiting for you." He told me keeping his eyes on the piano.

I nodded and with one quick smile in his direction I left him on his own, making my way into the kitchen to see Esme.

I woke up that night, hot and bothered, sweating after going through a disturbing dream involving what happened on my first day at school here. I wiped my hand across my forehead and sighed. What was I doing? Sitting here knowing Edward was blaming himself again while I slept was heartbreaking. I got up, grabbed a piece of paper off my desk and started writing.

**Edward**, I wrote,

**You won't believe me when I tell you so maybe you'll believe me when I write are not a monster and what happened wasn't your fault, none of it was. You're such a nice person from what I've seen and from how you've taken the blame I can see you're just a good person trapped in a nightmare and caught in a bad situation. I would never tell anyone about you or your family. I can see that you all mean so much to each other and I would never take that away from you.**

**You should be blaming me for not walking away when you asked me to stay behind, not yourself. **

**Believe me, you're not a bad person.**

**Love Bella.**

I thought that I was stretching it by adding 'Love Bella' on the end but I'd already put it in the envelope by the time I had realised or thought about the fact I shouldn't have done that.

I crept out of my room and up the stairs to where Edward's room was listening out for any sign of Edward or his family. I could here loud pop music from Alice's room and classical from Esme and Carlisle's room but as I crept slowly to Edward's room it was still quiet.

I couldn't see any light coming from through the glass door and it was tinted slightly so it looked pitch black in there, so I guessed he was down stairs with Emmett. I opened the door slowly and walked in.

I jumped and dropped the letter as I caught the sight of Edward, slouched on his black leather couch, book in hand, shirtless.

I spun around quickly, giving him some privacy.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were down stairs." I rushed to say as I heard him throw the book down and get up.

"It's okay Bella. I wasn't expecting any visitors at two o'clock in the morning." I could hear the sarcasm in his voice and he chuckled.

I turned around then slowly, to find him right behind me. Still shirtless, except he had a shirt in his hand. I tried to avoid looking at his chest, trying to look at his face but failed and my eyes drifted to his chest again.

"Bella? My face is up here." He chuckled.

I blushed profusely and brought my eyes to his. I was searching my head for something to say when the word 'letter' fluttered through my head and I ducked down to grab the letter. I searched the floor around me but it was nowhere in sight. Edward watched me curiously for a few minutes before asking,

"What are you looking for?"

I continued to search for it, crawling around on the floor turning over papers I knew it couldn't be under because I dropped it by the door.

"Bella?" Edward asked again. This time he was right next to me on the floor, on his hands and knees same as me.

He stared at my face and into my eyes sending chills down my spine. I stared back into his smouldering golden eyes and unconsciously leaned forward.

I didn't know what I was doing until it was too late and his cold lips touched mine. I pulled away immediately against my will and got up as quickly as I could, running out of the room.

I threw my door shut and flung myself on my bed, covering myself in my covers. What had just happened? I'd kissed him! What had I been thinking? He had told me he was dangerous, my blood appealed to him more than others and he's a vampire! Seriously I think I have some unconscious death wish. He's a vampire, a creature that isn't supposed to exist one that is extremely dangerous, needs to be avoided and here I am playing best friends with Alice and kissing Edward! I don't know what I was thinking but I'm guessing he's either utterly repulsed or going into shock at my stupid behaviour. I rolled over and groaned into my pillow.

I tiptoed down the stairs in the morning, hoping nobody would hear me. My bag was in my hand, packed and ready to go. I just needed my keys for my truck and then I was gone. I stepped carefully across the living room, watching where I was going so I wouldn't trip. That would completely ruin my 'escape' plan. I reached the small rack by the door and tried to unhook my keys silently. Unfortunately due to my bad luck, they rattled and jangled as I did and I cursed silently. I shoved them into my bag and opened the door. It didn't creak or whine like I thought it might and much to my surprise I was able to shut it without making a sound as well. I slowly made my way for the steps, celebrating on making my escape a little too soon.

"Where do you think you're going?" I spun at the voice and came face to face with Rosalie Hale. She was just as beautiful as I remembered from the cafeteria, but her face was full of menacing rage. I cringed.

"I w-was just . . . erm I was –" I stuttered and then turned to make my escape but Jasper was there, blocking my path. His lean frame toward over me and his stiff jaw sent a shiver down my spine, remembering what Carlisle had told me about him. _"Jasper is our newest vegetarian. It's a little hard for him to be around humans still. Especially now with how close you are, just try to keep your distance, he'll appreciate your effort. Same goes for Edward. He can restrain himself but it's still difficult for him. I hope you understand."_

I stepped backwards into Rosalie and she scowled at me,

"I told them you couldn't be trusted with our secret. That you would run and tell the first person you saw. I was right. We were right." She said, looking at Jasper as she spoke.

Jasper nodded his head, his jaw still tight and stepped forward.

"I said we should have gotten rid of you when you arrived. Faked an accident or something. Dispose of the risk to our family." She continued her voice not as angry but still as menacing. "Do you know what that entails?" She asked growling ever so slightly I'm not sure I heard it.

I gulped and shook my head and could hear my heart beating faster. Too fast. I should be on the verge of passing out now. She was looking at me like I was her prey and she was about to pounce, I looked at Jasper and he nodded at her again. Never speaking, just silent nods.

I was suddenly being pinned to the ground and I screamed before Rosalie could stop me. Jasper as holding my arms down as Rosalie hovered over me. I thrashed my legs but couldn't move anything other part of my body. She clamped a hand over my mouth and tilted my head to the side. I knew what she was going to do. I knew what my end involved.

She moved her hand away from my mouth to grip my shoulder and head and I took that opportunity to scream as loud and for as long as I could. I wasn't going without a fight. I thrashed my legs and kicked Rosalie. She growled. I managed to hit Jasper's wrists with my hands but he didn't move a bit. He strained his head away from me but kept my arms out straight. I screamed again as Rosalie moved my hair from my neck and didn't stop this time.

Rosalie was thrown off of me and Jasper let me go instantly. I gasped in relief as soon as her hold was gone and I looked to see Edward crouched down in front of me, protecting me. His growls were fierce and Rosalie crouched as well, her stance cat like. She hissed a little and Edward growled at her again.

"This isn't your business Edward. I'm doing this for us, so she won't run and tell the whole town what we are." Rosalie told him, not moving out of her stance.

"It is my business if you try to kill an innocent girl." He replied, "And after I tried so hard to keep her alive I don't appreciate your attempts to ruin my effort."

Rosalie scoffed, "You nearly killed her, and we were just finishing what you started. She knows too much. She's a liability. She needs to be disposed of." She curled her red top lip and hissed again as I moved to sit up.

"That was a mistake Rose and you know it. You know how much I hate myself for nearly taking her life; you know how I'll never be able to forgive myself for nearly doing that." His voice was full of rage but he never moved out of his protective stand. "Knowing that, and yet you still go ahead with this. We all agreed as a family that she would not be harmed as long as she could keep the secret. So why the sudden change of heart sister?"

"She had her bag packed; she was sneaking out of the house, she had her keys and was heading for her truck. She was running Edward." Rosalie spat at him, "Your precious human, the one you tried so hard to save was going to go back on her word and tell, most probably, her darling father, the chief. She doesn't care about you; she was going to tell on us all without a second thought. So much for saving an_ innocent_ human, Edward." Her lies made me want to scream, but I knew she would silence me with her stare. So I kept quiet.

"She . . ." Edward said slowly, his voice heartbreaking, "I don't believe you." He said hopelessly.

Rosalie grabbed my bag and threw it at him, spilling the contents. My keys fell out of it, and my purse, along with my clothes and my purple toiletry bag. He stared down at it, his back to me and then he hung his head and relaxed his stance. Rosalie relaxed as well and I got on up onto my knees as Edward turned around to look at me, his eyes sad and broken with betrayal.

"I wasn't going to tell anyone. I swear." I told him, "I promised I wouldn't, I wasn't going to break it. I would never do that. Not after everything you've been through. I wouldn't dare . . . Edward, please . . ." I pleaded. He just had to believe me.

He just shook his head and mumbled, "Go. Tell whoever you want but we'll be gone as soon as you say anything."

I was taken aback and I searched for the right words, "I would never . . ."

"GO!" He shouted.

I nodded, tears threatening to brim over. I grabbed my bag, stuffing everything back in it and picking my keys up from in front of him. He continued to look past me when I stood up and looked at him.

"I'm sorry I've caused you so much pain. As soon as I get back I'll ask Charlie if I can go stay with my mother's friends in Arizona. I won't come back. Your secret will be safe." I told him. He continued to look away.

"Goodbye Edward." I said and walked past him, "I don't regret meeting you. I never will." I whispered as I headed for my truck, hoping he would hear me.

I drove slowly, tears streaming down my face, unable to see clearly. The road was misty from the falling rain and I could hardly see the road. I tried to keep the truck steady and straight but I couldn't see and from the horn blares behind me I knew I was swaying. I pulled over into the dirt and put my head on the steering wheel. I shouldn't have tried to sneak out. The sensible and best thing to do was to tell them I wanted to go home. But I made it worse by trying to creep out. I shivered a I remembered Rosalie's face when she pounced on me. I cried as a new wave of emotion swept over me. Fear. Delayed reaction to what had happened. I could still hear her growls and threatening words as she cornered me. I could still see the way she crept, as if I was her prey and she was the predator.

I stopped crying eventually and the rain stopped as well, giving me a chance to get home safely. Charlie didn't know I hadn't been at school all these days. Carlisle had told me he had set up an alibi with the school about me having to stay at home due to an illness which would pass soon enough. So basically I was going to have to lie to Charlie about so many things I couldn't count. I reached the house soon enough and sighed after noticing the drive was empty. But just as I pulled in Charlie pulled in behind me. Oh crap.

EPOV

I ran upstairs and slammed the glass door to my room. Shattering it completely. I cursed loudly and threw all my books on the floor. I growled when Rosalie followed me and shouted at me to calm down. I cursed at her and she was taken aback. I'd never cursed at anyone in this family, ever. I continued to throw objects around the room and stopped suddenly when I recognized something that was not my own. A copy of Wuthering Heights. I stopped my rage and opened the book looking at the first page, it read;

**This belongs to Bella Swan. 15****th**** September 2000**

I placed the book on my leather couch and sighed. All anger gone. All frustration gone. All that was left was betrayal and hurt. How could I believe her? I couldn't read her mind to see if she was telling the truth so I had no idea if she would tell or not. That was my problem when she was first told about us. How would I know if she was lying about keeping the secret? I sat down and addressed Rosalie,

"Would you go please?" I asked calmly.

"Fine. I'm not telling Esme about the door though. You are." She huffed and left quietly. _"What is his problem? I was just trying to protect us. She was a danger to us."_

I blocked out her thoughts and concentrated on calming myself down. I couldn't do it. I needed to see her. I needed to get the truth out of her. I suppose as soon as Alice warns us about our future we would leave and I'd know the truth. But that wasn't good enough. I would need to ask her why then. Why did she betray us? Why did she betray our trust in her? I began clearing my room then. Putting books up on the shelves, CDs back on racks. There was paper all over the floor. A lot of it from my journals, other from my compositions. I gathered them all into one pile when an envelope caught my attention. It was covered in glass from my door so I shook the glass off it and noticed it was addressed to me and I recognized the script too.. It was Bella's handwriting. I ripped the envelope open in a flash and opened the paper, reading it carefully, inquisitive;

**Edward,**

**You won't believe me when I tell you so maybe you'll believe me when I write it. You are not a monster and what happened wasn't your fault, none of it was. You're such a nice person from what I've seen and from how you've taken the blame I can see you're just a good person trapped in a nightmare and caught in a bad situation. I would never tell anyone about you or your family. I can see that you all mean so much to each other and I would never take that away from you. You should be blaming me for not walking away when you asked me to stay behind, not yourself. Believe me, you're not a bad person.**

**Love Bella.**

I stood there, stunned. I couldn't believe it. It clicked then that this is what Bella came in for last night. To put this in my room, but I caught her. This was what she dropped. That was why she was scouring my floor for it. That's why she was on her hands and knees mumbling to herself. That's why I crouched down and offered to help. That's when she kissed me. And I shocked myself by not being repulsed by it. I liked it. She was warm and open and shy and quiet. And I was drawn to her. And it was dangerous.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello!**

**Sorry it's been so long, I've been updating my other story A Song of Love Vs Life, check it out if you have time :)**

**This chapter is quite long to me, compared to others and hopefully you guys like it, I know the last chapter was like, woah! what? seriously? Nex chapter will look more at rosalie and Jaspers motives whereas this chapter looks at Edward and Bella after al that happened. REVIEW!**

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Chapter 4

BPOV

I was frozen to my seat as Charlie got out of his car, looking at the truck curiously. I finally found the courage to step out and face him. Plastering a big smile on my face I wiped my face with my hands and grabbed my bag, swinging myself out of the truck to see Charlie looking at me, befuddled.

"What are you doing back Bells? It's the middle of the day. You said you'd be gone a few more days, did something happen?" He asked suddenly concerned.

I shook my head, "No, they're all going on a camping trip so I had to leave." It was so easy to lie to Charlie.

"They just kicked you out?" Charlie asked, his voice a pitch higher.

"No, no, Alice was going to stay behind with me but I told her it was fine and that she should go. They didn't kick me out." I covered up.

Charlie nodded, "Oh well, that's alright then. I've missed you Bell's you've been gone over a week now. I'm glad you're back."

And with that he then headed inside, me trailing behind him. He didn't ask any more questions and left me to get used to the house again. It had been so long since I'd been here that it was all foreign to me again. I felt much more at home at the Cullens than I did here. It was strange, the place which I was supposed to call home felt like a stranger's home and yet the home of the strangers I had met and discovered felt more like home. If that made any sense.

I unpacked my bag and started unpacking the rest of the bags I had left unpacked before school last Monday. I couldn't not think of Edward, the way his face had looked when Rosalie twisted my actions to make me look like the bad person, it was heartbreaking. I wish he would've believed me, it would have made going to school tomorrow so much easier. It was Friday tomorrow and I knew that after tomorrow I would ask Charlie if I could go back to Arizona. I didn't know what he was going to say but I just hoped that he wouldn't make me stay; I doubt I could handle a whole year sitting next to Edward in Biology. I didn't have to worry about that though; he said that the family was going to move, he said that by the time I told anyone they would be gone. It hurt me to know that a misunderstanding was driving his family away from the place they had called home. I couldn't do anything now though; it was out of my hands.

They weren't in school the next day, I thought that maybe somebody had heard that they left but apparently Dr Cullen was still working in the hospital that day and Mrs Cullen was visiting the children's ward with old toys also. So they couldn't have left. This just meant they had skipped the day. I was glad at least.

When I asked Charlie if I could stay with Mom's neighbours back in Arizona he looked surprised and disappointed. I assured him that it was the weather that was getting me down and I just needed to go home, it wasn't his fault in anyway. He believed me after a while and said he'd think about it over night. I was hoping he would say yes, as long as I checked with him every few days and informed Renee and I was right. Saturday morning came and Charlie grumbled that if it was what I really wanted and needed then he'd allow it. He started calling up Mom's friends and out of the ten he called one said that they'd be delighted to look after me for a while until my mom got back. It was actually Phil's sister, Kayley that agreed and said she wouldn't mind one bit because she looked after me a lot when I lived in Arizona anyway.

She said I could come as soon as possible if it was alright with me and I made plans to fly back on the Sunday. I called up Jessica and Angela while I was packing; I'd sat with them at lunch this week at school and Thursday and Friday last week, they were good friends and included me in their group, unfortunately not without the many questions of why I was staying with Alice Cullen. Alice used to come to my rescue then and invite me over to her table, the table where she sat with the rest of her family. I informed Jess and Ange that I would be leaving for Arizona the next day and that even though I'd only known them about two weeks I wouldn't forget them. Jessica surprised me and sounded genuinely sad that I was leaving and Angela told me she'd miss me a lot. To be honest I'd miss them.

I knew that Jessica would call up everyone she knew after that and tell them that I was leaving so I didn't have to call up everyone. I had packed my bags within an hour and prepared myself to leave the nest day. To be honest, as I looked around the room I was sad. I would miss this place. I would miss Charlie and everybody here.

EPOV

We all agreed to stay at home the next day. We all needed to discuss what had happened. Carlisle needed to work that day and Esme had promised to take old toys to the children's ward so it was just me, Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie. Jasper and Rosalie still thought that they were in the right for what they did and said they would do it all again if it meant she would keep quiet.

Emmett was disappointed in Rosalie for doing what she did and Alice was having a hard time altogether. She was trying to see what would happen next but could see nothing; she said that it was too blurry, there was no real picture.

We all discussed what would happen when we went to school on Monday. We knew that we had to keep our distance and I was considering skipping Biology just to keep away. It was paining me to think that I had to keep away when I knew deep down I didn't want to, which was bad. It was dangerous for all of us.

After agreeing we would all keep our distance and stay away from her, much to Alice's dismay we all parted to different rooms of the house. I ventured up stairs and into the guest room.

I was bombarded with her scent as soon as I reached the door and my throat burned as I stepped inside, shutting the door, encapsulating myself in the air that caused me pain. It caused me pain yet made me content. I ran my hands over the covers on the bed, still splayed around just like she'd left it. Esme hadn't gotten round to tidying and I knew she would tonight and would completely wash every available fabric in here, thinking she was helping me, not knowing that I wanted it to stay this way. I sat down on the bed gently and picked up the pillow, the indent her head had made on it was still evident. I inhaled deeply and my throat was ripped by the flames which coursed through me.

I gasped and almost threw the pillow away, but didn't, I inhaled again, and again. Forcing myself to remember what she smelt like, to remember what the flames felt like. The burning died down as I continued to inhale and it became tolerable. I hadn't realised how long I had been sitting here when Esme walked in, a concerned expression on her heart shaped face. A motherly look, one I'd seen on her face more than once recently.

"Are you alright?" She asked softly.

I lowered the pillow and nodded, "I'm fine."

"_Liar. I can see you're not. What's wrong?" _Her thoughts were full of concern for me and I tried to smile.

"I-I . . ." I couldn't find the words, "Nothing," I settled with.

"_Lie number two, tell me the truth. It's Bella isn't it?"_ She walked in slowly, closing the door behind her.

I shook my head fiercely but gave up when she nodded towards the pillow in my hands, her brow raised in sarcasm. I looked down at it and sighed, inhaling deeply, her scent hitting the back of my throat again; it didn't hurt as much now.

"Edward," She sat down, "She . . . she was special to you, in more than the _one _way,"

"No, I-" I tried to cut her off but she stopped me,

"She was special to you in more than one way, now don't interrupt me. She was special because her blood was more appealing to you than any other human and also because _she_ is special, in _her_ own way." I was about to interrupt her again but she held a finger up, stopping me, "She has a kind heart and is one of the most understanding and selfless people we have ever met or laid eyes on."

"What's your point Esme?" I said, trying not to sound snappy.

"I can't bear to see you alone anymore." She said simply.

"What are you implying?" I asked.

"_That she's what this family needs."_ She smiled slightly, "Don't go off in a huff now, just think about it."

She stroked my hair back and kissed my forehead, "You deserve happiness."

I watched her walk out and shut the door quietly behind her before hearing her descend the stairs. She was still talking about how Bella could be good for the family when Alice dropped the glass jug she was carrying full of water to the vase full of flowers on the other side of the dining room. Jasper was at her side in a second and the rest of us followed. Rosalie looked the least bothered by Alice's unusual behaviour and didn't move one inch from the living room. I walked in as Jasper, Emmett and Esme crowded around Alice as she just stood there stunned. I was trying to see what she was seeing but she blocked me out and started translating song lyrics into different languages. I pushed roughly past Jasper and Emmett and looked straight into her eyes.

"Alice," I warned, "What are you hiding?"

She started squealing and said, "I can't tell you! It's a surprise for Emmett!"

She started bouncing up and down but something was off, the way she smiled was off, it wasn't genuine, it wasn't Alice. I let it go but kept my eye on her for the rest of the day and the next day. She avoided me and continued to block me from her mind, giving me Emmett as a distraction. He kept asking me to see what Alice saw about him and what kind of surprise was it going to be. I kept telling him she was blocking me and then he'd just ask me what I thought it was. Alice was sneaky, I'll give her that much, she sure knew how to keep me distracted and off her back.

It was Saturday night when she sighed loudly in the living room and I stopped playing on the piano and turned towards her, glaring at her,

"What is it now, Alice?"

She sighed again, "Bella's leaving tomorrow."

I stood up, "What?"

She turned towards me on the couch and sighed for the third time, "She's going back to Arizona, she organised everything just like she said. She's leaving Forks."

I grabbed her and shook her shoulders, "When did you see this? Was it yesterday?"

She cringed, "Yesterday, when I said it was about Emmett, it wasn't."

"I knew you were hiding something from me! Why?"

"I knew if I told you last minute you'd be able to see how you really felt about her!" Alice exclaimed as I shook her again.

I had the urge to hit her, I knew that it was wrong to hit a woman but she was so irritating and so right at the same time. I let her go just as Jasper walked in the front door and tried to send me waves of calm. I shivered and let her go, looking out of the house into the ever growing dark forest. I cringed, she was leaving tomorrow. And I didn't know what to do.

BPOV

Charlie was looking more miserable by the second, on Saturday night and I had to excuse myself upstairs to try to distract myself from the guilt that was building up. I was the cause for his behaviour; I was hurting him by leaving so suddenly. All of this was my fault, I should have been stronger when I met Edward, and I shouldn't have given in so easily. If I had then I would have stayed with Charlie and I wouldn't have to leave tomorrow. I threw myself on my bed and groaned, tomorrow was going to be hard. It was going to kill me to see Charlie upset that I was leaving after just arriving.

I rolled over and stared at the ceiling, breathing deeply, trying to calm myself down, trying not to concentrate too much on the fact I was leaving this green planet tomorrow. I failed and a few tears ran down my cheeks at the thought; I didn't want to leave Forks. I closed my eyes for a split second and when I opened them and sat up a dark figure was standing in the corner of my room.

I took a deep breath in ready to scream; I opened my mouth and went to scream as the figure moved forward. Suddenly a hand was over my mouth and a low voice at my ear,

"Shh, it's me, Edward."

I looked up and could see his face was just inches from mine. I stared wide eyed at him before he slowly let go of me saying,

"You aren't going to scream if I remove my hand, are you?"

I shook my head and he moved to sit next to me on the bed, I looked at him, completely shocked. I had to ask,

"How–how did you get in here?"

He chuckled, "Your window, it's not that hard."

I blinked to make sure I wasn't dreaming and when I'd convinced myself I wasn't I started asking him all the questions which were running through my head,

"What are you doing here? I thought . . . I thought you, you . . ."

"You though I what?" He asked.

"I thought you hated me," I admitted, hanging my head.

He looked devastated when I said that and brushed my hand with the tips of his fingers, "I couldn't hate you. That's impossible."

I snorted and moved away to walk towards my window, I looked out of it and down to the ground, looking back at Edward in disbelief, "You climbed up here?"

He nodded, "That's beside the point though Bella, why would you think I'd hate you?"

I turned back to him and leaned against the wall, facing him, "Did you not kick me out of your house on Thursday morning? Did you not shout at me to go and completely ignored my pleas for you to listen?" Sarcasm coloured my tone and he grimaced, "Exactly, that, right there, is my reason to believe you hate me."

He turned on my bed and sighed, "I was . . . confused, I had Rosalie's thoughts bombarding me and then Jasper's, and then on top of all that you were talking t me and I couldn't form a . . . proper evaluation of the whole situation."

I took a step forward but then stopped, "You hurt me." I stated simply, he nodded and I waited.

He stood up and approached me slowly, and then he gently took one of my hands, "I don't expect you to forgive me if I just say sorry but I hope you can in time. I know that it's a lot to ask but I hope you can,"

I sighed, "I'm leaving for Arizona tomorrow, why does it concern you if I forgive you or not? I'll be far away from here so I'll be no bother to you, does it really matter if I'm angry at you?" I arched my brow in question as he stared down at my hand in his. It felt nice, soothing to have his hand wrapped carefully around mine. Forks wouldn't be the only thing I would miss.

"That's why I'm here, Bella, you see, I came to tell you that you don't have to leave. We all discussed this yesterday, we didn't know you were actually planning to leave so soon but we all agreed that we would keep our distance. We trust you to keep our existence a secret, we know now that you won't tell anyone. So we planned to leave you alone, let you live out your time here without worrying about us and that we don't trust you." He looked up, smiled slightly, even though it didn't reach his eyes before looking down again, "So, you see, you don't have to leave."

"I think I do." I mumbled.

He lifted my chin up and shook his head, "You don't have to go. Tell Charlie you changed your mind, you made your mind up so quickly that you didn't think it through, that you don't want to leave really."

"It's for the best, you can carry on as if I never came here, just live your life here without worrying about me." His eyes were smouldering and I was in a trance.

"I will be worrying though, that's the problem. That's why I'm so confused, because I don't want you to leave but I know that it's wrong if you stay, because I want you to stay." He let go of my hand and sat back down on my bed, holding his head in his hands, mumbling, "Esme and Alice were right."

"What do you mean? It's wrong of you to want me to stay but you want me to stay? Honestly Edward, that makes no sense whatsoever." I crossed my arms as he looked up.

"It's wrong for you to stay because it's wrong for me to want you to stay. If that makes any sense." He sighed, "Me wanting you to stay is wrong because of what I am and how dangerous I am to you, but I want you to stay and I know that if you leave, I'll want you to come back. Basically, I don't want you to go."

I sat next to him, trying to find a way to word this without it sounding needy; I decided I just needed to say it,

"I don't want to go either. I thought it would be better for everyone when really I just want to stay. I don't want to leave you." My voice broke a little as I said the last part, due to nerves rather than emotions.

He groaned, "I've got to go."

I stood up, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have . . ."

He smiled slightly, "Don't apologise, I need to be heading back home, it's getting late."

I nodded and tried to look understanding but I couldn't, he smirked at my expression,

"I'll see you Monday, hopefully."

"Okay,"

"I promise,"

I smiled a little, "I believe you. You better get going."

I watched him stand up walk over my window before turning round, smiling and then climbing gracefully out of the window, disappearing into the dark night. I thought I'd made him angry by saying that but he didn't seem much bothered by it, at least that's what it looked like.

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	5. Chapter 5

**Hope you like! I said by friday but I went to see Breaking Dawn like three times so got held up. MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW! Sixteen tomorrow. november 21st. :) **

**Song: Turning Page - Sleeping At Last.**

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Chapter 5

BPOV

Charlie was . . . awkward the next morning. I explained to him that I hadn't thought anything through properly and that I had decided to stay, to give this new change a chance. He had been a little bit sceptical but he called up Kayley and rearranged all of our plans. Kayley was glad I'd decided to give it chance here and wished me luck. Charlie was still a little sceptical when I told him I was glad I'd changed my mind and looked at me as though I'd lost my mind. Obviously I'd forgotten he knew how much I actually hated it here and hadn't taken that into consideration when telling him of my new found contentment in staying here.

Sunday night I tossed and turned, unable to not think about what tomorrow might bring. I knew Edward had made it clear he was dangerous last night but I couldn't stop thinking about him. He seemed to be on a loop in my mind, whenever I was doing something it got pushed to the back, but I knew it was there, my mind whirring away about the mystery that was Edward Cullen. I kept wondering what would occur tomorrow. Would he greet me across the cafeteria or even the parking lot? Would he talk to me in our Biology class? At the thought of that class and what had happened the first time I'd stepped in there, I cringed and shivered, remembering the useless feeling which coursed through me as he grabbed me, the queasy shiver which ran through my veins as his teeth sank into my skin and he began to drink my blood. I shook away the thought and rolled over, hoping sleep would come soon, and it did.

My head hurt and my back ached. I opened my eyes and realised I was sleeping halfway off the bed, my head dangling off of the edge. I groaned and tried to pull myself up, without falling out of bed completely. It worked and I managed to get myself back into bed just as my alarm went off. I smacked it harder than I'd thought as it slipped and fell off the side table. I groaned again, threw the covers off of me and got up, sitting on the edge of my bed as I rubbed my eyes and looked around yawning. I stood up wearily and bent down to get my alarm clock and placed it back on the side. It had a little scratch but I paid no attention to it.

I washed my face and brushed my teeth with ease, not dwelling on any thoughts that might bring me out of my state of contentment. I was content with my hazy mind and blurred senses; it was a little weird but made it able for me to go about getting ready without having to think about what I was actually doing today. I pulled on my jeans and a thermal, adding a shirt over the top before brushing my hair and heading downstairs for breakfast. Charlie was seated at the table when I walked into the kitchen and he looked at me carefully, studying my expression.

"What?" I asked, taking a bowl out of the cupboard before heading for the cereal.

He looked down at his newspaper and muttered, "Nothing."

I didn't believe him but carried on with my task, giving myself a good handful of cereal and a considerable dashing of milk to that. I put everything away and then headed to the table, spoon in hand. I had barely taken one bite when Charlie threw his paper down on the table a little forcefully and looked up at me, a hard edge to his stare.

"Give me the real reason why you changed your mind about leaving. I want the truth, no lies, you hear me?" He demanded, looking at me as if I was a criminal at the Station, not his daughter in the kitchen.

I put my spoon down and looked at him, "I wanted to give this a proper chance."

Charlie scowled, "That's rubbish and you know it."

I cringed internally, he was onto me. I couldn't lie to him effectively now, he'd call me out of it and demand to know the truth. So I took a deep breath and told him.

"I fell out with one of the Cullen's and thought it would be best if I left but that certain Cullen told me to stay and that it wasn't my fault and that they were sorry. So I changed my plans." I said as simply as I could so he wouldn't ask any more questions, but being Charlie he did.

"Which Cullen?" He asked, his eyes narrowing.

"It's of no consequence; we've resolved it now so it doesn't matter." I got up and placed my bowl in the sink washing it out as quickly as I could, needing to get away. I didn't even bother to put it away, I just left it on its side on the rack and grabbed my bag by my chair and started for the door.

"It's fine now dad, don't worry. Have a good day." I added when I saw his brow screw up in concern.

The ride to school gave me too much time to think. I didn't want to think and that was my problem. I didn't want to come up with excuses to be able to talk to him, but I did. I scolded myself at the stupid plans that revolved around my head, such as asking him if he could help me catch up with school work or asking him to have a look at my truck because it was misbehaving. They were all lame plans that I dismissed from my mind the moment I pulled up in the parking lot and I caught a glimpse of that silver Volvo, containing the one person I wanted to talk to so badly I knew I couldn't.

I exited the truck with as much ease as I could, trying not to draw any attention to myself by banging the door shut, or falling out of the cab as possible. It was like it was my first day all over again. I could hear the whispers already, could see the stares all angled towards me and I cringed at the thought of all these people interrogating me about my stay at the Cullen's. I'd had this last Friday when I came in for one day of that week, the murmurs, the whispers, the looks. All directed at me. Carlisle had made a good job at keeping the school form calling Charlie while I'd been at the Cullen's. I don't know how he did it but I was able to do work at home without the Principal calling my father to ask about my progress. I was relieved if anything. The Cullen's knew how to handle things I suppose. They had the power and the money and if the school suddenly came into new books or equipment I'd know where the money had come from.

It was ridiculous that everyone was still gossiping. Didn't they have anything better to do? I was just one tiny person and yet they seemed to have plenty of things to talk about concerning me. It bothered me that they seemed to take an interest in that. It wasn't any of their business and yet they all insisted on knowing the full story and gossiped about the parts they already knew. I sighed loudly and even though I hadn't wanted to draw any attention to myself I slammed the truck's door shut and growled slightly under my breath through my annoyance. I turned and was met with a pair of warm gold eyes, looking at me curiously. Yet there was a slight edge of amusement in them and that irritated me even more.

"What?" I asked, bluntly, not caring that the light left his eyes immediately.

He sighed, "I'll leave you too it then." He began to walk away.

"Dammit," I cursed, "Edward, I'm sorry." I called after him jogging to keep up with him.

He ignored me for a second, his hands shoved in his pockets of his coat as he walked across the parking lot, me beside him, fuelling new gossip for everyone who could see. Then just as we reached the entrance near the old brick wall he stopped and spun around towards me, causing my body to fall into his. He steadied me, his hands on my arms before he looked at me with his smouldering eyes.

"You're having a bad day, already, I get it. You don't need to apologise." Masked emotions were all I could see. The hint of something else through the straight face he tried to hold.

"Why did you come over to me?" I questioned, the first thing I could think of slipping out of my mouth.

He ran a hand through his hair, "I . . . I just came to say hello." He decided and I could tell it wasn't the entire truth.

"Hello?" I looked at him sceptically. Did he really believe I would leave it at that?

"Yes, you know, it's customary to say hello to someone you know, well in most society's. Obviously you aren't accustomed to that. I might have to go through this again another time." He smirked and I wanted to wipe away that smirk immediately. Smug vampire.

"You're hilarious." I said rolling my eyes and started for the entrance, but his hand grabbed mine.

I turned back, staring at his hand wrapped around mine and then up to his eyes.

"I did have a reason why I came over to see you." He blurted out, almost compulsively, like he didn't really mean to say it.

"Well, what was it?" I asked, curiously as I stared at his face, wondering.

He cleared his throat and then let go of my hand quickly when other students began to walk past us to go inside. He looked nervous yet deadly serious. The smirk had vanished from his lips, the light that had illuminated his gold eyes had dimmed and was replaced with a deep scorching flame instead. He stepped closer, lowering his voice.

"I came to tell you, before you came to me, that we shouldn't see each other anymore, as friends." Cold, that was another word to describe his eyes now, cold.

"I-I don't understand." I muttered, watching as Mike Newton walked passed us, eyeing us carefully. Well there's another conversation I'll be having today concerning Edward.

"I'm not a good person, Bella. I thought you would have gathered that by now, and I'm not a good friend for you either. It would be best if we stayed away from each other." He explained for me, not letting me look away from his eyes.

"Why would you say that? What happened on my first day, was –"

"Don't say 'nothing', don't you _dare_ say 'nothing'. I could have killed you!" He hissed at me, stepping closer as more people passed us, "That was the most excruciatingly painful thing I've ever had to go through. Not knowing if I'd killed you, not knowing if I'd taken so much blood you wouldn't be able to recover. It killed me, Bella I-" He cut himself off and tried to compose himself as Alice and Jasper passed, giving him a stern look each.

He waited till they'd passed and gone inside before continuing, his voice a little louder now that the crowd had dispersed.

"If I'd have killed you that day, I don't think I could have lived with myself." His voice broke slightly and then it softened, "To know that I might have killed you, and that instead of standing here, talking to you, seeing you smile and laugh I could be living in another town right now. It tears me apart, I wouldn't be able to live with myself." His hand moved towards my face and I stared wide eyed at him as it touched my cheek gently.

I think I stopped breathing because Edward was suddenly holding the tops of my arms, keeping me up.

"Breathe, Bella, breathe." I heard him say softly, right next to my ear, "Don't pass out on me; I don't think either of us could bear the rumours."

He chuckled in my ear and I let out a soft chuckle of my own, a little breathless but a laugh nonetheless. He had quite an effect on me that I couldn't seem to put my finger on to what the cause of it was. I regained my balance and he let me go, smiling slightly at me before he sighed and I yawned.

He chuckled, "Obviously you didn't get much sleep."

The statement made me laugh and I retorted with, "Well, you didn't get any sleep at all."

He chortled loudly at that and ran a hand through his tousled hair before adjusting his bag on his shoulder, "We better get to class."

I nodded and we headed inside, an pleasant silence hanging in the air between us. He seemed in a much better mood now and I wondered how long this would last for before he started punishing himself again. I doubted he would go until lunch without thinking about it once but I would never know because I knew that I had to keep my distance. I didn't want to but from Alice and Jasper's severe looks I guessed that I wasn't supposed to be talking to him in school, as to not start any unwelcome rumours.

We parted ways as we reached my locker and he initiated a small goodbye before stalking off to his lesson which we were both ten minutes late for. His demeanour always had me on edge, it was always a subconscious battle in your head of a will he, won't he dilemma regarding his behaviour. I apologised to Mr Varner for being late and he asked me to stop behind to explain properly why I was nearly fifteen minutes late for his lesson. It was bad enough we weren't on great terms as it was but now I was sure to get a detention, which I really didn't need. I needed to finish this year as best as I could before moving back with Renee to Phoenix or wherever we ended up if Phil was offered a job.

My lessons dragged. Jessica hounded me on anything concerning Edward and I had to keep assuring her that there was almost certainly nothing going on between us. She gave me a sceptical look but dropped the subject to my relief. Mike was acting like he'd never seen me before today. I dropped my pen and he picked it up before I could even blink. He walked me to each of my lessons before lunch and carried my books between lessons, against my irksome comments that I could carry my own books. Eric was badgering Mike for my attention as well but I saw nothing in it. I was still technically the new girl, I was a novelty. It would wear off by next week I told myself as Mike came over to help me again before lunch.

"Honestly, Mike, I can carry my own books." I told him taking them off the table before he could get to them.

"Oh, okay, I just thought you might want some help." He muttered, sounding a little dejected.

"I appreciate it though," I added, not wanting to hurt his feelings, "I really do, Mike. Thank you." My smile caught his eye and he smiled back, his confidence returning.

"Anytime, Bella."

I walked to my locker, my head spinning. I was unbelievably tired and didn't think I'd be able to make it through lunch with my eyes open. I wondered if I could sneak out to my truck to get a few minutes of shut eye before going to the cafeteria to eat. Placing my books in my locker I made up my mind and decided I'd get my lunch, eat quickly and then head to my truck for ten minutes before lesson. Angela approached me just as I shut my locker and I groaned. My plan was being delayed already.

She smiled pleasantly at me as she reached me and adjusted her books in her arms, "Hey," She greeted.

"Hey, Ange, are you alright?" I asked, being polite.

She nodded and smiled again before taking a step closer and handing me a piece of paper which had been residing on top of her books. I looked at it curiously as she placed it in my hand before stepping back a little bit. I looked at her confused and she explained,

"Edward Cullen gave it to me in second period to give to you." She looked a little flustered as she told me, "I haven't read it, honestly. He told me to tell you to meet him outside on the bench nearest the big fir tree."

I screwed my brow up, confused at his actions before nodding slowly. Angela seemed to have gotten the idea that I already knew about this for she gave me an odd look before saying,

"You look genuinely surprised. You didn't know about this?"

I shook my head, "No, not a clue."

We stood there for a second as I stared at the paper in front of me. Angela seemed to be waiting for me to read it for she didn't move but to look at me expectantly. She wasn't the nosy type but she was obviously intrigued as to what Edward Cullen wanted from me, and to be perfectly honest, I was too. I grabbed my bag off of the floor and watched as Angela sprang to life.

"Thanks for giving me this, Ange. I'll talk to you later, okay?" My tone was a little high and Angela smirked at me as I walked hastily in the opposite direction from the cafeteria and her.

"You're welcome, Bella." She called back before heading towards the cafeteria without another glance at me, obviously not wanting to seem like she was prying.

As soon as she was out of view I started running, I didn't know why but I wanted to see him as soon as I could, I didn't want to wait another moment. I opened the door to the outside benches and slowed my steps to walking pace before crossing the damp grass to the bench he'd told Angela about. It was empty and I wondered if he'd gone to get his lunch and then laughing at myself for thinking of that. He didn't eat. I sat down and realised that this area was out of view of the classrooms on the bottom floor due to the bushes and on the top floor due to the fir tree. He'd picked a perfectly secluded spot.

Something hit me then and I gulped. What if he'd had a bad morning and . . . I couldn't force myself to think it, although it was there, at the back of my mind, wanting to bring forth its pesky superstitions to the front, where I couldn't hide them.

"You made it."

I jumped at the sound of his voice and spun around to find him sitting on the opposite side of the bench. I blinked for a second before nodding slightly, swallowing. His eyes smouldered as a glimmer of a smile touched the edge of his mouth.

"I'm glad you came," He told me, "It would have been weird if you had stood me up."

He sounded a little weary, as if the thought of me declining his invitation would hurt him. He made it clear he didn't share any of the feelings that I did for him, and he also made it clear that I was to stay away from him yet here we were. He was sending me so many mixed signals that I was actually forming headaches because of it.

"You didn't really leave me with any choice, did you?" I said softly, twisting my hands together as he got up gracefully to sit next to me.

He had a curious look on his face as his brow screwed up at my words, "What do you mean?"

"I feel like I have to say yes to you." I explained.

"You don't have to; I won't hurt you if you say no."

"No, but you'll be hurt if I do. I couldn't do that to you, Edward." I confessed and his expression softened before, so quickly I'm not sure I saw it, his hand moved towards mine, and then withdrew it back.

"Maybe this was a bad idea." He muttered, in a voice so low I thought I misheard him.

"Why? Is this because I said I didn't want to hurt you?" I'd cornered him into being truthful, he had to be honest with me now, if he lied I'd know and I'd leave. If he told the truth then I'd stay, but end up confessing something else about how deep my feelings actually were for him.

"Yes, because this is going too far. I can't do this with you Bella, it isn't right." His voice was pleading with me, pleading with me to understand where he was coming from, that I had to bottle everything I felt and throw it away. That it was wrong to feel that way.

"Is that what you do when you form feelings for something? Bottle them up and throw them away because 'it isn't right'?" I sneered at him, my hands shaking in my lap. He was hurting me, he knew it too, by the look in his eye he knew what he was doing but he wasn't stopping it. He knew he had to hurt me.

"No," He replied his voice a low growl, "I don't let myself feel, it complicates everything."

"You care about your family," I reminded him, my voice softer, "You don't block out your feelings then, do you?"

"I care about my family because they're my family and those sorts of bonds get me past the monster I really am." He explained his voice lowering. I was trying to come to terms with the fact he was going to push my feelings aside because in his eyes it was wrong, I couldn't though.

"What about my feelings?" My voice was agonised as I asked him, "Don't they mean anything to you?"

His face was a mask suddenly and I sat there, waiting for the verdict, to see whether or not he would hurt me, or give me hope. I don't know how long I stared at his face for but the mask started to dissolve when I felt the tears of rejection sting my eyes. I wiped furiously at them and pushed myself up off of the bench, whirling around to face Edward.

"You're misleading and insensitive Edward. I knew your heart didn't beat but obviously it doesn't feel either. I guess Vampire's really are heartless." I spat and spun around with my bag to storm off, away from the person who was causing the ache in my chest.

It was unreasonable for me to feel this way after so little time but I thought I had something with him, like there was some sort of connection. I could feel how anguished he was and I wanted to help him. I could see how anguished he was and I wanted to comfort him. I could hear how anguished he was and I wanted to weep for him. He was broken, lost and I felt an urge to do everything I could to change that. Obviously he wasn't though, because he had the strength to break me, he had it in him to deny my attempts to help him, to show himself to be what the legend preceded vampire's to be; cruel.

Something grabbed my arm then and I was spun sharply around, on the spot. After the blur faded I was met with warm gold eyes, looking at me with the pain of a thousand men. The weight of so much loss and pain it broke me. Something changed then; his hand brushed my cheek gently, wiping the tears away and then his lip started to quiver as his other hand holding my arm softened its grip, but pulled me closer to him.

My breath was erratic, my head spinning, my chest was heaving, my eyes became hooded and I felt his shaky breath fan over my face before his eyes smouldered with determination and his lips touched mine.

I nearly cried inside when his hands cradled my face, his lips brushing against mine, softly, tentatively. I whimpered and he pulled me closer, my bag dropped off of my shoulder and my hands went to his hair, threading through it tenderly. I sighed in content as he kissed me again but he pulled away, letting me go completely. I steadied my feet and opened my eyes.

I was alone.

**I know it's been ages but I'm like completely spent from doing all my school work and college and sixth form applications. Hope you liked it. **

**Who has seen BREAKING DAWN?**

**It was epic. I cried. Not going to deny. ****J **

**Give me your reviews on the film and the chapter and I might update early. I'll try and reply to everybody's comments as well.**

**Love ya. xx**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

BPOV

I blinked for a few seconds and then it started to sink in, why my heart felt like it was going to fail. Why there was an unbearable aching in my chest. Rejection. He'd just disappeared after kissing me. I thought he actually felt something for me, that's why he'd kissed me, right? Or had he just been playing me along again? I tried to convince myself that this was the answer but something in me knew that Edward wouldn't do that, he hurt me to keep me away but I don't think he would show me a sign of affection like that and then disappear. I gulped loudly and picked up my bag, my lip quivering. I tried to hold it in but I couldn't do it. I moved as quickly as I could around the school building and towards the parking lot. I was at my truck before I knew it and I fumbled with my keys as the rain started but gave up as a crushing wave hit my chest and I fell against the truck, clutching hopelessly at my chest.

I don't know how long I was there for, time seemed to tick by slowly but I became suddenly very alert when two pairs of cold hands reached for my arms. I spun around to be met with a pixie, concern etched into her face as I looked at her with my tear stained face. I blinked for a few seconds before my eyes filled up with tears again and they spilled down my cheeks. Her tiny arms wrapped themselves around me as she comforted me and whispered in a low voice to assume was Jasper who stood nearby,

"I'm going to kill him." Snarls emitted from her chest and I looked up from her shoulder to see Jasper nod.

She finally coaxed me into my truck and got in with me, driving me back to my house. I stared out of the window the entire time, not listening to the music she'd insisted on putting on, or her mindless chatter, meant for a distraction for me from what had happened, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. He'd been so gentle, so affectionate with his touches that I'd though he actually felt something for me, thought he actually cared about me in the way he'd shown beforehand. I don't think Alice realised I hadn't been listening to her until we stopped outside of my house and she snapped her fingers in front of me.

"You haven't heard a word I've said this whole time have you?" Her voice was soft as she asked me this, careful not to cause more damage, like she was treading on eggshells, she considered me delicate and to a vampire I was.

I shook my head gently and continued to look out of the window, at the rain which thundered down. I had never meant to be rude to Alice; I just wasn't up for conversation.

"Can I go inside now?" I asked, my voice croaking from the sobs which I'd never released.

She gave me a disapproving look, "Bella, we need to talk about this, about Edward."

I cut her off before she could start a new sentence, "No, Alice, I want to go inside. I can't talk about this now. Please, just let me go, we'll talk another time." My voice was helplessly trying to get her to understand, she was giving me a disapproving look so I tried again, "Tomorrow, we'll talk then. Just, please," I begged, "Please, don't force me to do it now, I can't."

She gave in and nodded at me, before giving me a tight hug, a kiss on the cheek just before she opened the door of the truck and leaped out into the rain. She disappeared after that. Alice meant well, but I wasn't comfortable having that conversation with her about her brother. I knew I hadn't known Edward that long but I felt like he had a piece of me already, from the first time we officially talked after the incident I felt some connection to him, something which told me I needed to know him.

I finally got out of the truck and headed inside, my hair dripping down my back from the pouring rain. I took my boots off in the hall and removed my jacket hanging it up on the coat pegs to dry. I sighed loudly and trudged up the stairs, wringing my wet hair out as I did. The house was cold and the damp from my hair was causing me to shiver violently so I changed into a clean pair of sweats, thick socks and an oversized sweater that slipped off of my one shoulder. I tied my hair up and headed towards my bed. There was still an hour of school left and I knew that Alice might get me out of the trouble of skipping school so I tried to relax but it was no use.

Edward kept popping up in my head, the way he looked at me when he held my face in his hands, the way his lip quivered as if he was nervous and the way he sighed when our lips met. It was haunting me and I couldn't escape. I needed to know why. Why he'd taken off the way he had, if there was another reason why he just disappeared, other than rejection, the thought which was constantly running through my mind. I needed the answers and he was the only one that could give me them. But I knew he wouldn't tell me. Even if I threatened him he would shut down on me, act as if I wasn't anything to him even though the look in his eyes betrayed him. He had to care, I just believed he had to, even if it was a minute bit, he had to care for me.

I curled up on my side then, trying to find the warmth which seemed to evade me when I noticed my window was open about two inches. I sat up, thoroughly confused and hopped off the bed to shut it, noticing how cold it was by the window. I shivered and jumped back onto my bed, snuggling up on my one side. I stretched to pick up a book on my bedside table and began reading, I think it was one of my mother's which I'd taken with me because I didn't remember the storyline all that well. I huddled up again and started reading, letting the story take me away from the crazy reality I was living in.

I was walking through the house, it was dark and I pulled the sweater over my one shoulder to cover it. The stairs creaked as I reached the bottom and I spun around to see, nothing. I sighed and continued into the kitchen. Yawning, I opened the refrigerator and took out the milk, grabbing a glass that was on the side from the washing up and pouring some in it. I gulped it down, parched and sighed when the glass was empty. Pouring another glass I started sipping that one before I turned to put the milk back in the refrigerator.

A dark shadow stood in the doorway. Tall and lean. I took a step back and fear struck me when the shadow stepped forward.

"Please," I begged, "Don't kill me."

He was in front of me before I could blink and he bared his glistening white teeth to me. I stepped back out of fear but was met with the counter.

"Don't worry," He purred, his voice morphing into a soft velvet tone, "I won't kill you."

Bronze hair flashed before my eyes as he stepped into the light and I was met with ruby red eyes. I gulped and my breathing picked up.

"Edward, please, don't hurt me." I pleaded helplessly, this wasn't the Edward I knew but I had to try, "You told me you didn't want to hurt me."

He sneered at me, bringing a hand up to stroke my cheek and I flinched, "I lied. I do that sometimes."

My glass slipped out of my hand and felt to the floor, smashing into pieces. I felt a stinging pain in my leg and then the pulsing of blood down it. I swayed and held onto the counter as his eyes glistened at me before he lunged for my neck. I screamed.

I shot up in bed, my book knocking to the floor, a scream on the edge of my lips. A hand clamped down on my mouth and I screamed into the hand. It was no use though, no one could hear me, it was muffled. I thrashed about but a cold arm wrapped around me and held me against something cold and hard.

"Bella, please, calm down, I won't hurt you." Velvet hit my ears and I relaxed a little, "It was just a nightmare, I would never hurt you, please, calm down."

I relaxed immediately and his arms loosened around me. I then realised I was muttering to myself, the cause for his words, 'I won't hurt you'. He let me go completely then and his hand moved away from my mouth. My face tingled from where his hand had been and I touched my lips, unconsciously. He studied my face carefully before sliding away from me on my bed, so he was sitting on the edge. Anger bubbled inside of me then as I came to terms with why he could possibly be here for.

"What do_ you_ want?" I snarled at him, my hands curling into fists next to me on the bed.

His eyes sparked as he looked at me and then back to his one hand which rested on my purple comforter. I didn't think he would answer me at first, what with the way he drew out the silence, just my breathing to be heard. He opened his mouth slowly and then closed it.

"Spit it out." Patience wasn't one of my strong points tonight, I was feeling uncharacteristically angry and it was his fault.

He sighed and his hand fisted my comforter before he let it go, "I came here to talk to you, about what happened today."

Something hit me then and I spun to look at my clock on the bedside table, "What time is it?" I asked.

He laughed at my expression which was probably one of shock, "Its quarter past ten."

I relaxed for a second before jumping out of bed and heading for the door, "Charlie might still be awake, crap." I exclaimed, opening the door a crack to peer into the dark hall. It was silent.

"He went to bed half an hour ago, he's sleeping." Edward informed me as I turned back to him to see how his grip on my comforter tightened as he spoke, "I need to talk to you now."

I huffed and crossed my arms, "What did you want?"

His face became visibly tense and he gripped my comforter a little more before letting it go. His gold eyes blazed as he looked up at me and I shifted my weight from one foot to another.

"I want to talk about what happened today." His voice was a little gruff, strained and I tried to hold it together until he finished, "I wanted to tell you that it won't happen again and I'm going to sort something out with Carlisle so I can stay up in Denali, permanently."

My breath cut short and I felt an undeniable pain start in my chest as I tried to comprehend what he was saying, "You're leaving? Permanently?"

He nodded, "Yes, I had no right to do what I did today and I don't want to hurt you, so I'm –"

"If you don't want to hurt me then don't leave me." I pleaded, my tone a little whiny, "You always run away from me, always, thinking it will hurt me less, but it hurts me a thousand times more when you run." His face had dropped and he was staring intently at the bed. "You make me feel unworthy of you. I feel like you don't want me. As if you're never going to want me."

At that he stood up and was in front of me in a heartbeat, his eyes soft and gentle. "Is that what you really think? That I don't want you? That I run because I want to get away from you?"

I nodded and watched him carefully as his hand brushed my cheek, catching a single tear which had escaped from my eye, "Yes."

"I run, Bella, because I want you so much it hurts me to know I'll hurt you in the long run." He admitted and his sweet breath fanned over my face as he crouched to be at my eye line. "I run because it's inevitable that I'll physically hurt you at some point. It could be an accident or we could be arguing and I lose my temper, I could reach out to grab your arm and break it instead."

He gulped a little and I finally understood why he kept his distance, why he kept telling me he was going to stay away; because he didn't want to hurt me. What I had mistook as emotional hurt he meant as physical hurt and he was afraid of that. He was afraid that he would hurt me in that way. I knew he was dangerous but he wasn't towards me. I knew that he had already shown the restraint to be able to stop something like that from happening, had already seen the heartbroken look in his eyes when he thought he'd hurt me, not just physically, but emotionally too, but that was another thing too. He seemed to be struggling with how to deal with his emotions, how to express them. He was scared to put me in danger by being too close, and that showed me something he was confused about.

"You wouldn't hurt me." I said, a statement, a fact. Something I was absolutely certain about was that he would never hurt me physically.

He groaned and stepped away before he started pacing across my room, a look of annoyance etched across it. He let out a deep breath before his voice came out in a slight snarl, "I could easily hurt you, Bella. I could just mean to help you forward and push you over instead. Or go to pick you up and crush your whole body, or I could go to touch your face and crush your skull. You're so delicate I have to watch what I do all –"

"I didn't say you weren't physically capable of doing that, just that you wouldn't." I cut in, making him stop mid step in his attempt to make holes in my floor.

"Bella, you don't understand that I can though. I can easily hurt you without meaning to." He groaned, running a hand through his thick bronze hair.

"I know you can, but I know you won't!" I cried, exasperated at all the words being thrown about.

"Shh!" He hissed, "Keep your voice down, Charlie was stirring."

We stayed silent for a few minutes, listening out for any sign that Charlie was going to wake up, or had woken up. I could hear the tap dripping in the bathroom and the sound of the wind whistling outside but there wasn't a sound coming from Charlie's room. I could hear my blood throbbing behind my ears and mine and Edward's heavy breathing but that was all. I looked over to Edward and found him staring intensely at me.

"What?" I whispered, my voice barely making a sound to my own ears.

He took another deep breath and shifted his feet before he opened his mouth. He closed it again though and put his hands in his pockets, finally finding the words, "What did you mean I . . . 'won't'?"

It took me a few seconds to realise he was talking about my outburst just moments ago and I stood there, having to think of a way to phrase this without it sounding overly confusing to not only Edward but myself. It was difficult to find the right way to explain why I knew he wouldn't, not that he couldn't. He could easily hurt me but it was what he seemed to feel for me on the inside which made me believe he wouldn't hurt me. He cared about me.

I sat down, hesitantly on the bed and stared at the floor, my hands in my lap as I spoke, "You are capable of hurting me, but from what you've said about not wanting to stay away from me and not wanting to hurt me that I feel you couldn't hurt me even if you wanted to. You care about me. Well, at least that's what I think you feel." I added, not wanting him to see me as naïve to think he could care about me, "My theory is that you care about me so much so I don't think you could ever hurt me because of how much it would hurt you if you did."

I looked up at him through my lashes and bit nervously on my bottom lip as he stood there, an incredulous look on his face. It threw me off a little bit and I was suddenly panicked that he thought I had jumped to conclusions about his feelings for me. I stood up quickly and ran a hand through my hair, moving it out of my way.

"If I've jumped to conclusions about how you feel about me, then I'm sorry and I didn't mean to make you –" But I was cut off with Edward's cold lips against mine.

"You beautiful, silly girl," He murmured as his lips ran over mine, again and again, "Did you not hear what I said before?"

My mind was hazy as I gripped his shoulders for support, his hands on either side of my face, his lips caressing mine, "What about?" I mumbled, breathlessly.

He chuckled softly, his breath fanning across my lips, "About me wanting you." He kissed me softly again, "About how I want you so much it hurts."

My knees buckled at his words and his hands went to my waist as my hands knotted in his hair. My breathing was fast, helpless as he kissed me, almost frantically now and I moaned against his lips. So fast I lost my breath, Edward was on the other side of the room, his hands gripping helplessly into the frame around my window as he tried to control his breathing which was coming in fast pants. I stood there, trying to clear my head as he closed his eyes tightly and gripped the frame even more, little pieces of wood falling from it onto my floor. I put my hand to my chest and felt my heart beating at a rapid rate underneath it.

"Edward?" I asked stepping forward towards him.

"Stay there." He ordered, his tone breathless yet there was something there that was strained.

I stayed where I was, trying to control my own breathing. I sat down on my bed and took a deep breath, letting it out with a huff. I heard Edward groan and I looked over to him and found his eyes dark with want. A desire I'd only seen once before. The day I'd met him.

"Edward?"

"Don't move an inch."

"Do you want me to open a window?" I asked hesitantly, contemplating whether or not I should get up.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

He sighed exasperated, "Please, Bella, just stop talking and let me concentrate."

I shut up then and stayed as still as I could, trying not to put Edward back at square one with his control over his need. I never thought about how my close proximity might be affecting him, and now, with his face agonised as he tried to restrain himself I felt unbelievably stupid for not thinking about that. It felt like forever that I sat there; waiting for Edward to give me the all clear, to tell me he was okay, but it never came. He just stayed by the window, trying to control his breathing his eyes burning holes in the floorboards as I sat there, silently, trying to be as patient as I possibly could.

Suddenly he moved. He stood up straight and took a step away from the window. I got up in a flash and also stood up. His face became hard and I guessed I'd made it worse for him but he composed his face and managed to form a sentence.

"I should go." Hard, stern. His voice let on a eerie feeling like we'd been down this road before. The rejection was rushing through me again and I couldn't handle it. I just had to though.

I nodded and tried to force a smile onto my face, "Oh, okay, I'll see you at school then."

He studied my face for a second before he walked over, his steps making no sound on the floorboards and stopped in front of me, his one hand going to my cheek, "Definitely,"

With that he kissed my forehead softly, and pulled me into his arms quickly before letting me go, "Remember what I said about wanting you. Never forget that." His voice was trying to reassure me, to get me to stop worrying.

I nodded and watched as he gave me one small smile before slipping out of the window and into the night sky.


End file.
